A Different Way of Helping Couples Get Along: Stop Focusing on Agreement

A Different Way of Helping Couples Get Along: Stop Focusing on Agreement

Event Information:

• This event is will be for CEU credits totaling 1.5 hours for LPCs, LCSWs, LMFTs
• If you are a Psychotherapy Saint Louis member this training is free, please be sure you are logged in when registering.

Event Descriptions:

As clinicians, we may provide a disservice to our clients when we focus on couple agreement. Even reaching  a point of “agree-to-disagree and drop it” — is seldom effective to restore long term connection between verbally combative partners. On significant matters, a couple’s joint or even one’s solitary push for agreement can upset the relationship balance. The push can reinforce both or either’s need to “be right”. This position is counterproductive. As clinicians, we land in a position of promoting divisiveness. A chronic  “right/wrong” mentality in a relationship creates disrespect, disconnection, and the potential for an intolerant, controlling, or abusive couple dynamic.

The PPoP process was developed over 34 years of experience in private practice therapy and is based on CBT and anecdotal client data. Using the PPoP graph, clients can see the choices they are making  and locate themselves on one of seven descending levels of relationship health and happiness. Couples can identify and understand how negative outcomes develop directly from their interaction across three interrelated columns—behavior, results, and emotions. Couple can see the upward pathway to getting along better. Conversely, the downward path to relationship destruction is equally clear.

As a visual aid, the PPoP graph reveals actions to both avoid and take when a couple’s disagreements impair  getting along. The PPoP suggests possibilities to consider alongside  goals and directions for change. Clients  are encouraged to make a plan and may record it on an action sheet to implement at home.

The objectives of this workshop are:

1. Explore personal/professional beliefs and values about “agreement” and “being right”.
2. Consider new possibilities, aside from agreement, as viable and valuable options for getting along.
3. Learn The PPoP process to assist clients in recognizing their damaging relationship patterns and increase getting along.
4. Help couples build strong relationships that thrive in the face of disagreement.

Trainer: Dr. Patt Pickett will be presenting this training. Dr. Pickett specializes in helping relationship issues and developing emotional intelligence. Below is background of her education and publication experience.

Education/Credentials/Memberships

• Doctorate in Education St. Louis University
• Master’s Degree in Education/Counseling—     University of Missouri at St. Louis
• Bachelor of Arts/Sociology—                         University of Missouri at St. Louis
• Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist
• Past member for 25 yrs.—American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
• Missouri Writers’ Guild (MWG)
• Missouri Certified Teacher
• Social/Emotional Intelligence Certified Coach

Professional History

• 2004 –Present –Co-Owner St. Louis Emotional Intelligence Center LLC, a Division of HireCoach™
• 1987-2004–Independent professional counseling/coaching practice
• Prior tenure as a Probation/Parole Officer for the federal courts and state government

Presentations / Writing Achievements

• 2021—Upcoming author of The Relationship Keeper Series of wellness resources including books, coloring books, card decks, and online presentations.
• Author of  multi-award winning book: The Marriage Whisperer 2013 MSI Press- California
• 2017 Expert Conference Panelist on Emotional intelligence for Express Scripts
• 2016 Workshop Presenter on Emotional Intelligence for the Lutheran Church Mo. Synod
• 2015 Workshop Presenter on Emotional Intelligence for Sigma Aldrich Chemical
• Presenter on marriage & relationship topics/EQ for professional conferences, local colleges, and community groups
• Author of Awesome Couple Communication, 2017 MSI Press-California

• Author of stories in two of the 2012 editions of Chicken Soup for the Soul